i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
