she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
