dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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