I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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