All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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