i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
