The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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