I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
