oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
