I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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