we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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