people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
