I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
