we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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