Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
