Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
