Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
