so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
