She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
