So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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