did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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