i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
They are going to name an STD after you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
