Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
