Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
