I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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