Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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