the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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