so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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