Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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