Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
