Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
