i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The best revenge is premature balding
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
