please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
