Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
His nipple licking is glorious
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