dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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