I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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