She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
