just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize