Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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