Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
