Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
