Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
