yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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