Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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