Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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