3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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