I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
