you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
