I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize