So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
