i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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