Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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