My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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