cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
