If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
