Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
