We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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