dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
