when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
