It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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